A Happy Medium

I often get stuck in a situation that frustrates me. Sometimes I move on and say “I’m fine.”   That ends up backfiring because eventually, I’ve held in how I really felt for so long that I blow up.  Other times, I blow up right at the beginning, make accusations, and throw out every detail of how I think I’m feeling at the moment.  Either way, I end up blowing up and let my emotions get the best of me.

There is a fine line with being honest and truthful and doing it in a way that shows care and genuine concern.  This is something I struggle with.  In the moment, it’s easy to get caught up and start going on about every little thing I feel about the situation.  Or if I don’t want to deal with it, I just say “I’m fine.” (Hint: Saying I’m fine is usually code for…I’m really not ok, something’s wrong)

Girls have emotions (guys…deal with it).  God made us this way.  Many girls are over-dramatic and let their emotions get out of control.  I’m not perfect and this happens to me.  But God made us this way for a purpose.  As girls, we have to learn to use our emotions in a way that glorifies Him.  This means taking a step back and thinking before we react.  We have to learn to control the beautiful gift of emotions that we’ve been given.

I’ve had several conversations over the past few days revolving around this.  I’m currently in a situation that has been frustrating me more and more lately.  The book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst came up the other night. I haven’t read it yet, but it is on my list.  I came across this related to the book, Pretending I'm Fine or Proving I'm Right  It is short, so take the time to go and read it (girls AND guys).  But here is what I took most out of it.

Pretending that you’re fine isn’t ok.  That isn’t being truthful and it won’t get you anywhere.  We’ll eventually “erupt” with all of the “it’s fine’s” that we’ve thrown out there.  We have a right to say how we feel and if we’ve been hurt.  But we need to do this in a cautious way.  In the heat of the moment, we may feel a lot of things that aren’t our true, honest emotions.  We want to be right and prove to the person that they’ve hurt us and why.  So we go off on tangents, make assumptions, and end up spewing out things without thinking.  We need to stop, consider their point of view, and think about what the real, true facts in the situation are.

This is tough.  In my situation right now, it’s easier for me to say “I’m fine” and not deal with it.  This is going to come back and bite me though.  So I’m working on it.  Working to find that happy medium of being truthful and honest, with what the actual facts of the situation are. not anything that I let my emotions over-react on.  It isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible either.  God wouldn’t let us have emotions if He wasn’t also going to help us with them.  So the next time you are frustrated, hurt, or angry, pause for a second.  Don’t put off the situation and don’t blow up.  Be honest, you owe it to yourself.  But do it in a way that is careful and understanding of the other person as well.  You'll be glad you did later.