A Happy Medium

I often get stuck in a situation that frustrates me. Sometimes I move on and say “I’m fine.”   That ends up backfiring because eventually, I’ve held in how I really felt for so long that I blow up.  Other times, I blow up right at the beginning, make accusations, and throw out every detail of how I think I’m feeling at the moment.  Either way, I end up blowing up and let my emotions get the best of me.

There is a fine line with being honest and truthful and doing it in a way that shows care and genuine concern.  This is something I struggle with.  In the moment, it’s easy to get caught up and start going on about every little thing I feel about the situation.  Or if I don’t want to deal with it, I just say “I’m fine.” (Hint: Saying I’m fine is usually code for…I’m really not ok, something’s wrong)

Girls have emotions (guys…deal with it).  God made us this way.  Many girls are over-dramatic and let their emotions get out of control.  I’m not perfect and this happens to me.  But God made us this way for a purpose.  As girls, we have to learn to use our emotions in a way that glorifies Him.  This means taking a step back and thinking before we react.  We have to learn to control the beautiful gift of emotions that we’ve been given.

I’ve had several conversations over the past few days revolving around this.  I’m currently in a situation that has been frustrating me more and more lately.  The book Unglued by Lysa TerKeurst came up the other night. I haven’t read it yet, but it is on my list.  I came across this related to the book, Pretending I'm Fine or Proving I'm Right  It is short, so take the time to go and read it (girls AND guys).  But here is what I took most out of it.

Pretending that you’re fine isn’t ok.  That isn’t being truthful and it won’t get you anywhere.  We’ll eventually “erupt” with all of the “it’s fine’s” that we’ve thrown out there.  We have a right to say how we feel and if we’ve been hurt.  But we need to do this in a cautious way.  In the heat of the moment, we may feel a lot of things that aren’t our true, honest emotions.  We want to be right and prove to the person that they’ve hurt us and why.  So we go off on tangents, make assumptions, and end up spewing out things without thinking.  We need to stop, consider their point of view, and think about what the real, true facts in the situation are.

This is tough.  In my situation right now, it’s easier for me to say “I’m fine” and not deal with it.  This is going to come back and bite me though.  So I’m working on it.  Working to find that happy medium of being truthful and honest, with what the actual facts of the situation are. not anything that I let my emotions over-react on.  It isn’t easy, but it isn’t impossible either.  God wouldn’t let us have emotions if He wasn’t also going to help us with them.  So the next time you are frustrated, hurt, or angry, pause for a second.  Don’t put off the situation and don’t blow up.  Be honest, you owe it to yourself.  But do it in a way that is careful and understanding of the other person as well.  You'll be glad you did later.

End of the Semester.

The semester is over. I’m half way done with my Master’s. And I’d like to think I’m a lot wiser after this semester ;)

I go through times in my life where I wonder what exactly God is doing. I pray for clarity on things I’m going through and where I’m headed. This semester was one of those times. I always wondered why God had me come home for grad school.  I didn’t question Him, but it’s almost as if I was waiting to see why. Well, He definitely  showed me that this semester.

It wasn’t until about 3 weeks ago I started to see all of this.  Just proof that He has a plan and I have to keep trusting in it at all times.

Friends. God had a plan to stretch me.  I had to figure out how to deal with practically all of my friendships being long-distance.  This was going from the most social semester I had had last fall. Luckily, my friendships got so much stronger because of this.  It’s amazing what a simple text from someone can do and how it can change your day. Or a quick catch-up Skype to check in on each other.  I lived for those moments this semester and it reminded me again how precious time and friendships are.  Make the time to let those close to you know that you care about them before you don’t have that chance anymore. (I’ll write another blog on new friendships later)

Clarity. This was something I prayed a lot for this semester. There were a few different things, but there was one big thing. I like knowing things and I wanted to follow what God had planned for me. But He had a different plan. After about two months of praying for clarity on a situation, I finally came to a decision myself.  A few days later, God clarified it and showed that I had made the right decision. Funny how that worked out. But He taught me to be patient and not expect Him to give me every answer right as I want it.  That’s not how He works and in His timing He will reveal His plan to us (I think I need this reminder every morning!)

Small group. At the beginning of the semester, I wasn’t sure how things were going to go with my small group of 8^th grade girls. Thankfully, God had a plan to grow me and equip me.  There is no way I could have connected with them like I was able to without His help.  Kids that age were something I never considered to be a strength of mine.  But He was able to provide me with the right things to say and encouragement for them. I enjoyed it so much and am thankful for the blessing they have been in my life as well.

These are just a few things. Now that I have more time, I’ll try to blog more. There are so many more awesome things God did in my life. I’m realizing why I came home this semester.  As much as I wanted to stay in St. Louis, I wouldn’t have had all of these amazing opportunities to grow.  I wouldn’t have been able to speak at all the schools I did for FCA, meet with my small group girls each week, or learn to grow my friendships through texts of encouragement. He has truly changed my heart this semester. I don’t know what the future holds yet, and thankfully, I don’t have to worry. I know when the time is right He will reveal it to me. Until then, I am taking each day for the opportunities that it gives and looking forward to continuing to see how He works!!