This is a short snippit of something I’m dealing with. It’s tough for me to write because I like to think I’m strong and independent and can take care of myself. I like being a rock for my friends by pouring out to them and don’t want to look like I am struggling. But the truth is, we’re all struggling. We’re human. We sin. We need God. Because without Him, we are nothing.
Contentment is the feeling or showing satisfaction with one’s possessions, status, or situation.
Patience is being steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity.
Everything had been going good. I was too busy to realize otherwise between class, work, working out, and the amount of homework I had. Then one weekend things slowed down and I sat down to re-read a previous study I had done. It talked about being a Lady of Contentment. The book was mostly relating it to guys/relationships [which is an area the devil has really been testing and tempting me lately, and I have been learning SO MUCH…but that could be a whole other blog by itself.] Anyways, as I was reading I started to realize that I wasn’t content with where God had me.
I wasn’t in control of my life and I didn’t even know what I wanted anymore. And that scared me. If you know me at all, you know that I like to know everything. I’m on top of things and figure out what I don’t know. So it absolutely scares me that I don’t know what I want to do with my life.
I feel homesick, but I’m living at home. So where am I homesick for? I like accounting, but some of the stuff I study I just don’t care about. Is this even what I want to do anymore? Some of my friends are talking about engagement, and I don’t even have a boyfriend. Will I ever have a family? [ok, so that’s me being dramatic and selfish, but that’s what goes through my head sometimes]
Instead of giving it all to God, I start to freak out and then it all goes spinning downward. And then I get frustrated because I don’t have the answers. Only God has the answers. This is where the patience comes in, through difficulty and adversity. God isn’t going to tell me what I’ll be doing when I graduate in December or where I’ll be going. He isn’t going to tell me if I’ll have a family or who ‘Mr. Right’ is. Not yet at least. He doesn’t work that way.
So I have to be patient until, when the time is right, He reveals to me what He is doing. I have to trust that he has a reason for where I am right now. I have to be content with what He has planned. Ecclesiastes 3:1 says "There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens." So now I am trying to embrace what He has put into my life and the position I’m in. This is a season I will never experience again, so it’s time for me to see it as that and use it for His good. There are so many blessings and opportunities each day that I miss if I don’t fully rely and look to Him each day.
As I’ve been struggling with this the past few weeks [yes, this has been ongoing with good and bad days for me] a few helpful things have popped up from friends. The first is the song Trust You by Brandon Heath. Here’s a link to a video with the lyrics. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DBx7YR4d2nA It’s an awesome song and perfectly describes my life. Finally, I’m going to end with my new favorite verses that I turn to multiple times throughout the day now. They’re popular verses but The Message version really hits home with me.
“Trust God from the bottom of your heart; don’t try to figure out everything on your own. Listen for God’s voice in everything you do, everywhere you go; he’s the one who will keep you on track. Don’t assume that you know it all. Run to God!” Proverbs 3:5-7 (The Message)
Realize that God has a reason for where you are right now. We have to be content with that. Embrace it and enjoy it, because you won’t be in this exact same situation again. Be patient and know that He’ll reveal His plan to you when He’s ready [even if it is down to wire]. Have a blessed day :)
